Faith is trust in the Lord, Though my eyes cannot see.
Put my trust in the Cross, Know my life is in Him...
I stil remember in the beginning of the year, when I first started to plan my career to be a Team Leader, everything felt so far away and remote. No matter how many times I was told, "There will be opportunities and you definitely have the potential....blahblahblah" It just seemed like something "Good to try, but not a must" to me.
Not until when Angel got pregnant, and that I had to play the Deputy role, I then got a little taste of what a Team Leader does - hm yea, not bad.
June - mid year, however, this was exactly what I wrote in my journal :
"After all these summit, Business plans, meetings with managers, trainings... I started to doubt whether I still like all these work. It's a bit tiring. But coming to a point - Ven, are you doing this all for yourself? And why would I want to be one?
-> Motivate people,
help develop a person's career
look into people's need, strength, weakness
able to accept that, and speak with love.
*IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE* "
So I held on, and unto what I believe. I told you I didn't have the passion, You gave me the passion; I told you I didn't have the intelligence, You shed light in every single decision that I made; I told You I didn't know where to go, You guided me in every single step that I took...
And now we finally get there, almost. Fear has overwhelmed me that I have lost the confidence to walk on. Caring too much about what people think has always hindered me from doing the right thing. And Angel use to be my go-to person, my confirmation. Now the fact that she's leaving forces me to be on my own. Do I have what it takes? I honestly don't know. But Lord, could you be THE MENTOR that I need, and bring me beyond?
About Me
TFC - The Father's Church
The Church I want isn't built upon the World,
The Church I want goes into the World.
When my people get humble, when they fall on their knees,
My church will then be built.
The Church I want is the Word and Power church,
The Church I want has no walls around.
It's not you who have loved me, It's not what you have done,
I love, because I am love.
I am One God, and I am the only one.
I want one church, I want you to be ONE.
If in unity we sing, with one heart one mind one soul,
together we give praises to our King.
In unity we pray that Your love and peace remains,
Revival shall begin right here right now.
The Church I want goes into the World.
When my people get humble, when they fall on their knees,
My church will then be built.
The Church I want is the Word and Power church,
The Church I want has no walls around.
It's not you who have loved me, It's not what you have done,
I love, because I am love.
I am One God, and I am the only one.
I want one church, I want you to be ONE.
If in unity we sing, with one heart one mind one soul,
together we give praises to our King.
In unity we pray that Your love and peace remains,
Revival shall begin right here right now.
Who's the Leader?
The best ever leader in the world was here 2000 years ago. People followed him because they LIKED him. He handles objection in a perfect manner, but never let go of the truth.
He had the authority and power, yet he chose to be the humble and poor, so that he could feel the way that we do. He cares not about what people think about him, because that doesn't affect what he's going to do.
==========================================
One of my most fave quotes:
"Those who care doesn't matter, while those who matter doesn't care."
==========================================
If this is the standard of what a LEADER should be, you've set the bar really high, Jesus. But I'd rather follow through, closely and tightly, than to work hard to meet anyone else's expectations.
He had the authority and power, yet he chose to be the humble and poor, so that he could feel the way that we do. He cares not about what people think about him, because that doesn't affect what he's going to do.
==========================================
One of my most fave quotes:
"Those who care doesn't matter, while those who matter doesn't care."
==========================================
If this is the standard of what a LEADER should be, you've set the bar really high, Jesus. But I'd rather follow through, closely and tightly, than to work hard to meet anyone else's expectations.
Bucket of Grace
7/6/10 The pastor shared about his story in the past. I still remember he said something like this ....
"Men have a lot of weaknesses, either known or hidden, hurtings, sufferings, could all make them very fragile. During those moments, women have two choices. One is to use Satan's bucket of shame. This could easily break the man down, totally, completely. But women can also choose to pick up God's bucket of grace, and pour it over men. With prayer and support, walk with them."
This somehow touched my heart. And on that day, I made a prayer and said 'God, if possible, I pray for the heart that could understand men's weaknesses and to be the woman who can always pour over them the bucket of grace.'
Now that I'm standing in the world, looking at all the guy-friends that I know and used to know, please, may my prayer remains.
"Men have a lot of weaknesses, either known or hidden, hurtings, sufferings, could all make them very fragile. During those moments, women have two choices. One is to use Satan's bucket of shame. This could easily break the man down, totally, completely. But women can also choose to pick up God's bucket of grace, and pour it over men. With prayer and support, walk with them."
This somehow touched my heart. And on that day, I made a prayer and said 'God, if possible, I pray for the heart that could understand men's weaknesses and to be the woman who can always pour over them the bucket of grace.'
Now that I'm standing in the world, looking at all the guy-friends that I know and used to know, please, may my prayer remains.
Little Miss Scatterbrain
This is me.
Forgetful, unorganized, -> scatterbrain.
If you truly know me, and still love me AS WHO I AM,
Thank you.
Birthday itself is a gift
Good day, good week. Birthday upcoming, even though the significance gradually decrease with the increase of age.... haha
My sister always have a wishlist. I actually like how she's clear about what she wants for her birthday, and it saves me time to think about what to get her. A lot of the times, I think I do have a wishlist too... well everyone has things that they want, right? It depends on whether you think it's something that you want to have someone get it for you, or to get it yourself. I'm the later one. I keep the list to myself, not because I don't want to get things from people, but I enjoy the moment to wait and anticipate. I want to know if there'd be a person who can read my mind. Haha yes very lame. But I always believe, if there's such a person, who can understand and get me what I need/ like/ want, that person him/herself is a much greater gift than anything else.
I also love to see, without being asked, what people would get me. I think this implies what they think I like, or even what kind of person they think I am. It's interesting :) really really interesting. Sometimes it includes expectations too. An old nice aunt from church gave me a book, coz she thinks this would change my life as how it has changed hers. Another sister got me candle because she wants me to keep shining lights in the world. Some people instead give what they like, and hoping that you'd like it too. I've got incense, accessories, crystals or simply a hand-written card... And by looking at the gifts, I have a better idea what to get them when it's their birthdays.
Handmade product always move my heart. Simple, non-commercialized. The time taken and the effort is worth more a hundred millions, my dear little cousin, has been making me birthday gift since kindergarten, and now that she's F.1, she still does. Love her!
And most of the times, a message, a quick call, is already the best gifts. Because at least, in this particular one day of the year, you remember me, as one good friend. Nothing more than that is more important. :)
My sister always have a wishlist. I actually like how she's clear about what she wants for her birthday, and it saves me time to think about what to get her. A lot of the times, I think I do have a wishlist too... well everyone has things that they want, right? It depends on whether you think it's something that you want to have someone get it for you, or to get it yourself. I'm the later one. I keep the list to myself, not because I don't want to get things from people, but I enjoy the moment to wait and anticipate. I want to know if there'd be a person who can read my mind. Haha yes very lame. But I always believe, if there's such a person, who can understand and get me what I need/ like/ want, that person him/herself is a much greater gift than anything else.
I also love to see, without being asked, what people would get me. I think this implies what they think I like, or even what kind of person they think I am. It's interesting :) really really interesting. Sometimes it includes expectations too. An old nice aunt from church gave me a book, coz she thinks this would change my life as how it has changed hers. Another sister got me candle because she wants me to keep shining lights in the world. Some people instead give what they like, and hoping that you'd like it too. I've got incense, accessories, crystals or simply a hand-written card... And by looking at the gifts, I have a better idea what to get them when it's their birthdays.
Handmade product always move my heart. Simple, non-commercialized. The time taken and the effort is worth more a hundred millions, my dear little cousin, has been making me birthday gift since kindergarten, and now that she's F.1, she still does. Love her!
And most of the times, a message, a quick call, is already the best gifts. Because at least, in this particular one day of the year, you remember me, as one good friend. Nothing more than that is more important. :)
2nd Visit to Sendai, Japan.
It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
Until it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye
- Regina Spektor, The Call
Music of the Night
This is my favorite scene, and my favorite thing to do is to watch the cars moving along the highway. I could sit still by my window all night, watching this. Call this my weird habit. I love to see glimpses of lights shining in the darkness. I love to ponder on where the road would lead to after the twists and turns. I love the movement, cars flowing by swiftly like streams of running water. I love the sound of the speed, cutting through the mask of tranquility. This is like another kind of music that calms me down and clears out noises in me.
My New Year Goal: A.R.R - Approachable, Responsive, Responsible
I still believe God has brought me back to Hong Kong for a reason. I never dig deep to ask God WHY, but somehow I think He has put the answer in my heart. And it's the six-letter-word, P-E-O-P-L-E.
People around me and people whom I love. People I know and people I yet to know. Ever since I came back, I can feel their weight grows, for some physically too maybe haha, but for all, yes their weight grows - in my life. I may not call them up, I may not date them out, I may not even reply messages, or put things in words but when I think about a person, I make a little prayer and thank God for bringing them into my life. But now something started to change. I feel like God is trying to move that part of me, to put love in actions. Now when I think about a friend, what I want to do is to GO TO THEM.
It's hard. It really is. Especially when living in a city like Hong Kong. There's something that everyone's short of, called T-I-M-E. I need no movie, need no sing k, shops or alcohol. I just want to sit down and listen to how everyone has been doing, what's going on in their lives. Coz for the past 4 years, guess I have never been able to do this. But time is one buzzy bossy old dude, which never works well with me. To make it worse, I always have problems with 'Scheduling'. Like this wednesday, Day after tomorrow, New Year's Eve and Feb 2, okay 4 unique days. And BANG, crash.
Tons of plans, little time. What one wants to do and what one could do never makes an equal sign. Work getting hard, life getting tough, plans not working through, but I'm getting there. Not surrendering yet. Still want to break the ice, and invade comfort zones. Hong Kong people needs more intimacy, and some real fellowships.
So help me keep the heart, and bring it on.
People around me and people whom I love. People I know and people I yet to know. Ever since I came back, I can feel their weight grows, for some physically too maybe haha, but for all, yes their weight grows - in my life. I may not call them up, I may not date them out, I may not even reply messages, or put things in words but when I think about a person, I make a little prayer and thank God for bringing them into my life. But now something started to change. I feel like God is trying to move that part of me, to put love in actions. Now when I think about a friend, what I want to do is to GO TO THEM.
It's hard. It really is. Especially when living in a city like Hong Kong. There's something that everyone's short of, called T-I-M-E. I need no movie, need no sing k, shops or alcohol. I just want to sit down and listen to how everyone has been doing, what's going on in their lives. Coz for the past 4 years, guess I have never been able to do this. But time is one buzzy bossy old dude, which never works well with me. To make it worse, I always have problems with 'Scheduling'. Like this wednesday, Day after tomorrow, New Year's Eve and Feb 2, okay 4 unique days. And BANG, crash.Tons of plans, little time. What one wants to do and what one could do never makes an equal sign. Work getting hard, life getting tough, plans not working through, but I'm getting there. Not surrendering yet. Still want to break the ice, and invade comfort zones. Hong Kong people needs more intimacy, and some real fellowships.
So help me keep the heart, and bring it on.