All my rep life I have never fought for myself. Either I'm lucky, or my Team Leader had fought for me behind the scene. However, for the longest while she's on leave, I felt like there seems to be a spotlight on me, out from nowhere.
I've always thought this is what it's supposed to be, but later I found this may not always be the case, when it comes to... me having to fight for my people. I have no idea how to fight.
Many nights, I went home feeling regretful - why didn't I fight a little bit harder; why didn't I do this; why couldn't I say that; why was I fearful; and what was I expecting... To the extent that I love them and care about them, I blamed myself of not being a good enough leader for them. I wanted them to be recognized without having to fight, yet again my hope failed.
Maybe I really wasn't a good enough leader. Yet at all cost I still want to be able to grow people, develop sounding minds, not machines that crushes number, but real leaders with a vision.
At Your feet, I offer this team, take them on please, even better than how you've led me.
