My rest day

Quieting down myself, sitting down with god , praying and meditating. Since weekend, while I was worshiping, I heard god once again and again told me that how much he misses my worship, that heart that nothing can compare. Last night's conference, there wasn't much solid stuff that I need to digest, but some words remained in my mind that I don't quite know how to deal with.
Sore throat this morning, decided to take an 'I' day and rest, in body and in spirit. Alone in the prayer room I found my heart restless. Too much of this and that and this and that of little things that I'm mindful of. And for the past few months, I have been seeing god from a distance. Not like I'm far far away, not like I'm experiencing tough times or in my lows... But I cannot find that intimacy, the very very close relationship, the togetherness. What have I done? Nothing.
And then the words came to me again, 'delight','inside', 'no separation','living water'. What does that mean god , how can I stay inside, and what do I have to do to get back in. The answer seems to be... To do nothing. What about play some worship, read some words, do sone prayers, or make some quiet time? No no no no no, you said. Do nothing. What the heck, then how can I go back to inside... At least spending more time with you yea? No, do nothing, you said, stay in my delight. Yes, delight.


Leaving the prayer room, I'm still confused. God, do you mean you want me to blahblahblah?
No.

... aaaaalright,
sinking in.